nature

Fear Not

Things have been rather heavy around here.  By around here, I mean in my head.  I’ve just nearly recovered from a WEIRD laryngitis in which I learned I actually talk A LOT.  I had no idea.

It was good to pass on a few voice-necessary tasks to others for a few days.  It was restful, I guess.  Except for the anxiety it created in my deep tissue. Asking for help ALWAYS has me bracing for judgment while others simply do the favour as if it ISN’t a life-altering burden.  I’m learning.

I was SILENT all through the US presidential election.  Even though I’m Canadian, it made me feel like I was drowning, like the waves were battering my heart and the current was dragging me under.  But we all made it through anyway.  The day passed.  Morning came again. 

I wanted some time outdoors, to breathe in nature and exhale my stress.  I was feeling pretty healthy, so yesterday my friend and I spent some time at the water’s edge.  It was a dull and VERY windy day with a tiny bit of drizzle.  Lake Huron was absolutely WILD.  As we looked out over the water I suddenly felt a terrible dread begin in my gut.  There was a person out there in the enormous waves.  Stunned, we asked each other, ‘They couldn’t be swimming, right?’  I mean, it’s November – unseasonal weather, but still.  Are they drowning?  Panic gripped.  Another head bobbed above the water – there are two of them. Did they have a boat?  Did it capsize?  What were they thinking, boating in this turbulence?  We were about to lose it when I suddenly realized they were wearing wet suits.  Oh – were they scuba diving?  In the murky, churning deep?

It took us some time to understand.  The men were tethered by their ankles to paddle boards.  One would stand up and try to surf but get knocked down by the incredible waves – some of which looked to be as TALL as the men! I’d lose sight of one, then both, and WORRY- but they kept turning up, bobbing, going under, or lying flat on their boards, letting the waves carry them.  One of them came ashore. He walked out of the wildness holding his board.  His face was slathered with some kind of thick cream – to protect his skin, I suppose.  He said, “Now it’s YOUR turn!” with a grin.  I told him he was amazing and completely OUT OF HIS MIND.  He walked briskly to the pier, up to the end and jumped off, back into the waves for ANOTHER go. 

Those guys would be NO help to one another if anything were to happen.  They were TOO far apart and the water was too fast and too POWERFUL.  My friend and I would be of no use either.  I shuddered at the thought.

As we watched I relaxed a little and began to ADMIRE the freedom these guys must be feeling.  IMAGINE IT.  Thrill seeking is scary and can be really dangerous.  Despite this, these guys were clearly enjoying themselves and not concerned.  Maybe they were strong swimmers or trained for these conditions. Whatever the case – THEY were NOT in control of the waves.  They did, however, get reprieve from the battering by clinging to their boards and staying afloat as the waves crashed through them.  I remember being in a wave pool.  It was pleasant.  It was even kind of fun.  It could NOT compare to what I was seeing.

Precariously relying on a wetsuit for warmth and a little tie to a floating board to keep one safe while within an expansive, violent body of water, knowing your life was out of your hands but choosing to live it anyway – AWESOME.  

Life is precarious, isn’t it?  There are no guarantees that we can ever control what is and could happen to us or to the people we love.  The world is TUMULTUOUS and POWERFUL. We are powerless to control it.  It’s also amazing and beautiful.  Choosing to live in the face of uncertainty, making the most of every moment, not letting fear hold us back from goodness – is AWESOME. 

As the guys were floating atop the crazy waves, I imagined how it would feel to move with the flow, to accept the power that engages and envelops, to look up at the big wide sky just as the sun was peeking through the clouds, It’s glittery rays hitting the water, being ONE with unspeakable beauty.  It made me so very thankful to have been witness to this.  My friend and I walked away full of appreciation for life, as it is, as it will be, always awesome, always mysterious, and always mysteriously presenting gifts of goodness and glimpses of freedom in the most fantastically unexpected ways. Thanks be to God!

Unbidden

30 Again [Jesus] said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it? 31 It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. 32 Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” Mark 4:30-32

My side lawn used to house three ENORMOUS trees that stood in a perfect row. Two flanked the driveway and the other stood by the little parking spot next to the garage. I agreed to have them TAKEN DOWN because they had signs of rot and were encroaching on the buildings.  






Many people in my congregation thought they were walnut trees but NONE produced nuts and one had thorny branches and enormous white sprays that attracted SWARMS of bees in the spring. I was curious so I did some research.  Whoever planted those trees in our yard either didn’t think it through or they had a twisted sense of humour.   If I’m right [I’M RIGHT], one tree was a honey locust and the others were a ‘tree of heaven’ pair.  HILARIOUS.  I’ll tell you why.  All three trees created prolific seedlings not only in our lawn and flower beds but also in those of our neighbours and, in fact, the whole village.  They were invasive and grew with great speed. The roots went DEEP and held FAST.  It took A LOT of work to dig up their roots and pull them up from the ground. There were SO MANY little saplings springing up that it felt like a PLAGUE.  It was IRRITATING and NO amount of hard work could STOP them from growing.  










Once someone told me that it was a pastor who did the planting. The house has always been owned by the church I serve and their pastors traditionally take up residence in it. I guess the pastor responsible thought AFFLICTING the parsonage with a tree named after the promise of honey and the plague of locusts from the Bible was FUNNY.  At any rate, the whole tree thing seemed clearly  PLANNED. The honey locust dripped sticky, messy sap on the roof of the garage and the sidewalk and, although the other two trees were tall and appeared to reach HIGH into the heavens, they were a stubborn, HELLISH nuisance. Amusing, right?  I was pretty sure I hated those trees.










The scripture I preached a couple Sundays ago was Jesus’ parable of the mustard seed.  I couldn’t help but think of THESE trees.  A mustard plant begins as a small, inconsequential seed, hidden in the ground. Some varieties can RISE up to be a very LARGE bush. They aren’t REGAL looking or anything, just very ORDINARY, naturally occurring plants that grow like WEEDS.  I’m no farmer but I know that the LAST thing a crop needs is tree-like weeds that steal sunshine and invite a bunch of birds and pests to pick around. Yet Jesus compares the mysterious in-breaking, sweeping [firmament- dimension-precinct-dominion-realm-‘kin’dom] Kingdom OF GOD to a mustard seed.  An IRRITANT. 










Those trees had grown like weeds.  Even though they were uprooted, SOMEHOW through the miracle of nature, their offspring always continued, and, TO THIS DAY, pop up EVERYWHERE – through the boards of our deck, pushing into the bottom of our trailer, lodging tightly between the walls of the house and the steps.  Those trees left a LEGACY of irritants, seeds with aggressive SWARMING behaviour and the ability to TRANSFORM landscapes by sprouting and spreading despite our best efforts to STOP them.















Jesus teaches that the kingdom of God is LIKE THIS.  It pops up everywhere and spreads like weeds whether we TRY to stop it or not.  





What does this mean for us who CHOOSE to put our energy towards the growth of GOD’S hopes and dreams for humanity and creation?  How do we nurture the growth of human decency, justice and love? How do WE teach the way of humility and welcome diversity rather than stifle or silence voices that are difficult to hear? 





I consulted several dictionaries and thesauri to inform my understanding of weeds.  I was DELIGHTED to discover that the same concepts can be directly applied to our Christian concept of God’s in-breaking kingdom within us and among us.  Jesus knew what he was talking about.





The kingdom of God is like ‘a plant out of place.’  It is like a plant ‘that interferes with human activities.’ It is like a plant ‘whose perceived negative characteristics might appear to outweigh its positive characteristics’, OR a plant ‘whose positive characteristics have not yet been discovered’!!!





The Kingdom of heaven is like a weed.  It produces large numbers of seeds. These seeds ‘might remain dormant, but are viable in the soil for long periods of time.’  Perhaps the way of truth and love that we find demonstrated by Jesus IS undesirable in particular situations.  Maybe THAT way of living conflicts with our preferences, needs, and goals.  Surely a life lived speaking truth to power CAN be hazardous, unappealing, and difficult to control and simply unwanted in certain societal ‘environments’, but STILL the realm of God grows forth from our hearts, from the earth, and from the ever-blooming fruit of the Holy Spirit that animates EVERYTHING.










Did you know that some seeds of weeds have unique, God-given structures that ENABLE them to be transported and be easily spread?  For example, like burrs to CLING to animals?  The Holy Spirit is like a burr that clings to the seed, or even the seeds themselves that are consumed and SHAT OUT with ABANDON – ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE so that God’s love spreads and propagates EVEN in unexpected and difficult places without us so much as lifting a finger to help it move along? SHAT OUT! I LOVE THIS VULGAR, EARTHY, ORDINARY TRUTH!





Soon after the parsonage trees were taken down we started to MISS them.  The inside of our parked vehicles became HOTTER.  Our deck and backyard had NO shade.  We LONGED for the visual of their branches waving and the sound of the breeze through their leaves.  NO more robins or squirrels nested in our front yard.  We MISSED the extra birdsong and the chatter.  In the spring when things started blooming, we missed the sweet locust tree and were grieved knowing we had DESTROYED a HAVEN for the bees that used to collect pollen from its blossoms’ and nestle into its bark for rest.  Those trees had grown like weeds.  The municipality said a new tree would be planted to replace them, a promise yet unfulfilled.  If I so-desired, I could simply allow the weeds to grow back. I’m seriously considering this!





The kingdom of God is like a mustard seed, a weed, an irritant – like the honey locust and the tree of heaven – a real and present tangible LIFE that is ALWAYS open to us to experience and SHARE.  Following Jesus can be HIGHLY disruptive to our comfort and our entrenchment in the status quo.  Asking questions, seeking justice, taking risks for the sake of others – is HARD. It’s NECESSARY. The world needs US to be like that mustard seed – relentless in our mission to invite others into God’s love, into the way of humility, peace, and belonging.  





A weed will grow without our help, even if untended – gradually, mysteriously, even unnoticed until – WHOOPS, there it is. Likewise, the realm of God is always expanding. It grows not just to look nice – but to BENEFIT creation with shelter and security.  Perhaps it is an univited, unmajestic, nuisance to some, but to so many OTHERS it is a much needed reality providing shelter, safety, and happiness. 





Jesus says that seeds sprout and grow even though the farmer really has NO clue how this miracle happens.  The earth produces from itself.  The earth has the power of TRANSFORMATION.  Farmers have to trust the soil, the earth, the ground, the mystery.  The kingdom of God is the same.    The seeds grow on their own REGARDLESS of what we do.  The purpose of sharing the fruit of God’s metaphorical garden is simply to ENCOURAGE this love and growth in our tired world.  We are invited to sow the seeds God provides. Carry the burrs and spread the shit.  This is GOOD news. We don’t know how it all works.  The mustard seed doesn’t push up out of the ground as a full bush and neither does the kingdom of God! We have hope because the new life of the kingdom is already growing here and will carry us through to the harvest of eternal life when the kingdom is realized in its FULLNESS.  It’s IMPOSSIBLE to mess THIS up! The kingdom will keep on growing even amidst our mistakes, the growth of God’s kingdom CANNOT be uprooted.





Sometimes the irritants will get our goat – and sometimes we ourselves must be the irritant for justice and love to grow.  Maybe nobody WISHES for big old weeds – but I can’t deny that the pesky honey locust and the trees of heaven – in their fullness – provided sanctuary and a place for life to FLOURISH in HARMONY.  Let’s look at the seeds that have already been planted and recognize what they have done over time and will continue to grow in the future and let’s accept with CONFIDENCE, the invitation to continue sowing and our INCLUSION in the spreading of God’s expansive and unbidden love.  






			

	
	



			
				


			
		

		
Starshine
	


		

		

The Friday before the  New 2024 Year celebration was the twelfth and FINAL day of Christmas. The following Sunday was the Epiphany, commemorating the arrival of distinguished foreigners from the East, who were WISE in watching the sky and attuned to ancient prophecy. They made it  to Bethlehem, where they finally set eyes on the child whose birth was signaled by the appearance of a PECULIAR star.  The star remained and burned brightly above the infant Jesus. A sign of wonder to behold. 










Although Christmastide has ended it is still the season after Epiphany – a season of revelation and discovery before we delve into observing Christ’s road to a cross, a story of suffering and salvation through him.   





For a while now, I’ve been reflecting on the entirety of  the yuletide season. As I’ve gotten a LITTLE older, I am learning to accept that nothing EVER goes exactly as planned.  Personally, Christmas has never really been the same since my brother’s 2012, November passing.





Each year, as I begin to pull out our Christmas decorations, I think about HIS funeral because it corresponds with THAT TIME. We were in Orleans, Ontario at the Lutheran Church of the Resurrection. The WHOLE chancel area behind the altar, the focal point of the worship service,  is surrounded by floor to ceiling clear WINDOWS. It felt like we were sitting outside among the trees.  





As my Pastor father preached it began to snow the FIRST snow of the season.  It wasn’t a gentle, slow, large flaked, magical snowfall, rather, it blew VIOLENTLY, harder and harder as my father spoke, as if God was making a nod to my brother’s adventurous and turbulent spirit, a final, gusty and powerful leave- taking.  It FELT like my brother’s spirit was WITH us.  It STILL FEELS LIKE his spirit is WITH us.  I’ve heard countless stories of felt presence of loved ones passed – butterflies, cardinals, feathers, unexpected items reappearing from nowhere.   And WHY NOT?  The spirit that dwells in each of us is ETERNAL.  Signs and wonders to behold.





The STAR at Jesus’ birth was a sign pointing to the wonder of God’s PRESENCE born among us.  This SAME presence is ALWAYS with us. That’s what Jesus promises.  We are never alone.  The Holy Spirit fills us, teaches us, accompanies us, and guides us.  The spirit dwells IN us. Christmas tends to heighten my awareness of Christ’s indwelling, the Holy Spirit that fans the flame of my soul, and is part of my Christ-mind, my inner Godspark.





Two thousand years ago, John the Baptist, who was renowned for his preaching, and later for preparing the world for the expected Messiah, baptized people with WATER a sign of REPENTANCE.  John encouraged people to look their sin in the eye and make the CHOICE to grow past it.





To repent, in Christian terms, means to intentionally change your mind and turn around, to head in a NEW direction that contributes to an ever better and more intimate relationship with God.  For me, this suggests choosing to notice the voice of the Holy Spirit calling to me from WITHIN myself.





Christians believe that during baptism the extraordinary Holy Spirit enters into ordinary water and washes all our sins away with a promise that we are God’s children, adopted to continue the work of Christ in God’s ongoing creation, and that we will be forgiven whenever we repent and turn to God in truth and hope. 





We consider baptism a divine gift. Not everyone has the OPPORTUNITY or the WILL to receive this gift. Not everyone who IS baptized recognizes or chooses to unwrap and embrace the indwelling quality of the Holy Spirit.  Life itself comes from being FILLED with the breath, the holy wind, the Spirit of God. It’s what ANIMATES us at the moment of our creation.  The presence of the Holy Spirit is NATURALLY in ALL of us, baptized or not.  Baptism can give us the special ability and the will to seek and perpetuate our own sacred origins.





What animates YOU? What do you equate with signs of divine sparks dwelling in you?  The Spirit burns from within. Sometimes we feel the urgency. Sometimes we simply see the glow and feel the WARMTH.





In spite of all the things that didn’t happen the way they were planned this Christmas- Jesus’ paradise approaches.  It GLIMMERS. The Holy Spirit keeps on showing up.  That warm, loving, energized feeling of hope BURSTING forth from our own inner depths – awakened countless times in me over the last month or so.  










When sharing a meal, my son carefully cut a piece of lemon meringue pie for my neurodiverse daughter, who lives with MANY challenges.  He gently invited her to try to pick it up and put it on her plate because, “I really think you can do it yourself. It’s all lined up. Give it a try.  Here’s a good fork. I’ll standby in case you need help.”  And she DID IT!  My son empowered her with KINDNESS.  The magnitude of this moment may escape you but it overwhelms ME with spiritual glimmers of gratitude, hope, love and even joy. Into THIS mother’s arguing, disappointed, shame filled and exhausted heart, the Spirit WELLS up and whispers something new.   A NEW dawn on a familiar journey.  The WILL to keep going. It changes everything from the inside out. 





At my church, it was the first time since Christmas 2019 that Christmas Eve service was in person or not stormed out.  A flush of gladness swept through me at the sight of a full church, families united, children now grown, and hushed Candlelight.  










These moments of CONNECTION, belonging, familiarity – that’s the Spirit pulling us together HEART to HEART. When we see the dignity of one another- that IS divine recognition from within. Signs of wonder. They refresh us.





In the year ahead, we can embrace a little bit of the freshness of something new.  We are gathered together and brooded over in HOLY ways we cannot understand.  The sacred moves US to create hope in ways we cannot understand.  





We are the holy undivided family that encommpasses the whole of creation.  We come from the same source, we BELONG to one another.  How will we reach out to help others move away from lives of falseness, hate, and hurt and be restored to the way of truth and love?  How will we invite them into repentance, reparation, and reconciliation?  How will we work together to create a future based on mutual care, liberty and justice?  Can we listen to one another with LOVE this year? I think that renewal, the opening of hearts to the divine, IS the WAY to restore ALL parts of the Creator’s beloved community.  Can we remember that we are still washed in STARSHINE, born from unfathomable POWER and filled with holy light that SHINES ever brighter as we SHARE it? I hope this year that YOU will behold the signs and wonders of divine love that shine brightly and eternally.  Check out the night sky and watch the hidden tenderness of humanity. Signs and wonders ARE everywhere.

			

	
	



			
				


			
		

		
Drown Proofing
	


		

		

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower 
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand 
And Eternity in an hour”
William Blake












My parents are die hard campers. Until quite recently, they slept in sleeping bags on the floor of their tent with only a ‘luxurious’ thin piece of foam under their 80+ year old bodies.  They always took pride in roughing it out.  Dad went logging for deadfall in the bush. He sawed up knotty wood and let my brothers help chop it and set it up to dry around the fire.  Everything from toast to spaghetti was cooked there.  Even the water we lugged to the campsite was fire boiled to heat for dish water and general washing. 





Dad took us fishing in his Kevlar canoe, portaging into the unknown to find good fishing holes.  We learned to fix wriggling worm bits on our hooks and to fillet a fish on shore using a flat rock or the edge of our paddle as a cutting surface.  We slept in a canvas tent, lined up like sardines, wearing long underwear, hoodies, and socks, trying to hold our pee all night as we listened to the shuffling of wildlife around us and tried not to feel the uneven, rocky, rooty ground beneath our hips. Bug spray was unheard of. 





I looked forward to our camping trips.  We were together and close, and relaxed. The hard work looked fun when my Mom and Dad did it with poise and their practiced rhythm.





My teenage children experienced their grandparents camping ways when they were young.  After an unsettling trip with a nightly bear visit, we bought a hard top trailer and have never heard the end of it.  Until Covid, we camped annually with them and my brother on a nearby site (even when we started to live in the trailer section).





We’ve been binge watching the ALONE series on TV.  I love it. It reminds me of my childhood summers. 10 contestants are dropped in remote, harsh areas, with 10 survival items of their choice, a pile of camera equipment to be their own film crew, and a satellite radio to tap out when they can’t do it anymore.  They have to source their own water and food, build their own shelter, and light and tend a fire to survive- rustic camping to the ‘nth’ degree.












It really helps me appreciate what our ancestors endured. ALONE is a survival show. It’s very entertaining to observe and think about how we’d do things if in their shoes.   But, a funny thing happens to these survivalists.  While all alone, fighting to survive they discover that life isn’t just about surviving.  Through their struggle and hard work they connect with nature and find their own purpose, their loves, and their deepest self. They proclaim that they have found their peace with the land. They notice how important each morsel of food and each drop of water is for their body. They pause, breathe, and take in beauty. They say thank you.  It makes me cry. 












This Sunday I preached about Jesus walking on the water and Peter sinking into the depths until Jesus takes his hand.  Peter was eager to get beside Jesus. He didn’t realize that Jesus was already with him and physically drawing near.  Jesus didn’t stop the storm on the water when Peter called to him.  Jesus didn’t make it any easier for Peter to walk on the water. Instead, Peter gets a lesson in drown proofing.  





Remember learning that?  Let out all your breath. Sink, let your arms rise up keeping your body horizontal, touch bottom, push off with your feet, break the surface, breathe, repeat.  This uses a lot less energy than treading water, floating or swimming.  We must remember the power of the water, have respect for nature and trust our amazing bodies.





Staying calm, taking steps to survive, recalling reasons to keep existing (love, truth, learning, helping, healing), biding the time, quelling the fear – this, THIS is how Jesus accompanies us through the worst storms.





Jesus is always moving toward us, staying with us through everything. When we are afraid, Jesus takes hold of us and helps us to drown proof.





It’s hard to trust in creation’s unity – the circular motion of God, the tangible world, and our souls.  Camping, forest bathing, hiking, communing with the creatures and the stuff of the natural world help us to re-center and remember that God is all in all.  Humanity needs to hone drown proofing skills.  It’s how we keep the strength of our faith.  We are never alone.  With God’s help, we will find a way forward in a world so full of hurt and fear.





But when [Peter] saw the wind, he was afraid 
and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.
Matthew 14:30-31  NIV